8 October 2009

South Africa; Or, The last three months of my life;

Or, I should have written this two – no wait, three – weeks ago

• • •

Prologue: Jargon

DTS – Discipleship Training School. A six month course on living to follow Jesus. First three months in class, learning broad, important basic knowledge. Last three months spent practicing said knowledge, usually in another country, living out the commands of God through the Bible.

• • •

Hello.

Yes, I am back in Colorado now, my beautiful home. I have a great new appreciation for “home,” even though home to me now is a few different places around the world. Home is with my family in Colorado, but it is also at Knox College with all my friends. I never thought I would love rural, cornfield Illinois, but I miss it now more than anywhere in the States. And I have a “home” in Cedarville, Michigan, and in Kona, Hawai’i. But with all these homes here, I just left my newest home, and I can’t remember ever being as homesick as I am for Cape Town, South Africa. Many of my family members are there. My friends are there. Some of the funniest, most alive kids I have ever known are living there in wood and metal shacks.

And that is where I try to begin picking up about South Africa. Everyone I have talked with have been so encouraging, asking to here stories, for me to share everything about my time traveling. So I guess I begin with some of the people. It wasn’t just me hanging out in the southern hemisphere. The experience was everything it was because we were in close community with one another. Without any one of the South Africa team members, the whole trip would not have been as productive, as enjoyable, or as transformational as it was.

We have seventeen team members. Our two leaders went with us in body the first month, and were with us in the Spirit the rest of our time in SA. Which left us with fifteen folks in body. Two are kids, Logan and Ethan, ten and eight years old respectively. Our leader in Cape Town is South African, and in fact her family lives close to where we stayed. She was a total Godsend to our team. One is Korean. Four are Canadian. And then representatives from all across the USA, from Oregon to Ohio to Maryland to Indiana to Hawai’i to Montana, and three Coloradoans. We were the greatest part of the team, of course… =P

I don’t know what more to say about everyone. There is so much I can say about each. The team was mostly girls. With the team leader from Hawai’i, the married man, the eight-year-old boy, and the two twenty-something young men, there were a total of five men. Plus Matt Hensley. When there are only two young, single men, contrasted with eight single girls, in a foreign country thousands of miles from home… It’s interesting. It’s tough. You either get really close to each other, or you don’t. There aren’t a lot – by which I mean any – of others to choose from. I wish I had tried to get close.

• • •

Story One: God Loves

[Everyone has told me they want to hear stories. I’m a bad storyteller. I’ll try to start here. Pry me for more info, more stories. I really do like talking, I just need audience interaction.]

Interesting and mostly useless fact which I unfortunately was not able to verify: In the Cape Town airport, a check-in rep for South African Airlines told us that if you stuck a rod from Johannesburg through the center of the earth, it would come out in Hawai’i (I think he said Honolulu). How cool is that? We literally traveled halfway around the world to get to SA.

So the obvious question is, why did we fly halfway around the world to stay in SA for three months? The general and most important answer each of us had was “God called me to come, and He knew I would meet you here.” Why would God ask such an odd thing? “Because He loves you, and He wants us to tell you and show you and give you His love!” That’s what we told people. People in Cape Town, people who have money and good houses and security and people who have not, except some friends and family. People in Labanzi and Zithulele who had cattle and sheep and goats, and most of them cell phones, but no electricity. People who had heard the gospel and name of Jesus preached, most of whom professed faith, and some of whom combined Christianity with traditional Xhosa ancestral religion.

For God so loved Tata and Timicosi and Bebo and Schwapps and Clinton and everyone we met in South Africa that He gave His Son as proof, and a team of photographers from Hawai’i as a reminder and witness (μάρτυς → martyr) to His love.

When we had the privilege to talk to groups, we told them, “God loves you, and we are able to tell you this because we have been shaken and moved by His love for us.” God is love. I didn’t come up with it. 1 John 4:8,16. But John didn’t come up with this proposition either. Love is God’s character.

And love cannot exist without a subject which can love and a direct object to receive love. It requires relationship. The idea of God as Father, Son, and Spirit is implied in the very concept of love. And relationship requires communication. We go to South Africa, or Panamá, to the ends of the earth, because love means that you form relationships and communicate. Thus we tell everyone we meet, “Jesus loves me and brought me into a personal relationship with Himself, and He loves you the same way.”

[I know I have offended some, maybe many of you. This is not a popular message in a Western intellectual post-modern society; I always wanted to be a rebellious punk in some way… I hope my actions and my relationship with you speak louder than these words, and that my life bakes up what I believe is the Truth.]

• • •

Next Season: Of Rumors and Germany

You may have heard; I’ve been trying to tell my friends in person. Many of you know…

I am planning to staff a Photography DTS in Herrnhut, Germany, this January. There is so much related to this my head spins when I think about it. This is taking up 80% of my thoughts every day. [The remaining 20% is random TV and movie quotes… TMI?]

Now, I have not been officially accepted as staff. If for some reason I do not go to Germany, than I’m not sure what I’ll do in January. I would probably go back to finish my undergraduate degree at Knox College. I only have a year left to finish. I’m hoping I go abroad to Germany, and literally God knows where, for a year or two. God’s will be done either way. I’ll let you know when I know for sure.

The scariest-but-also-least-scary thing about staffing in Germany: financial support. Yes, that’s right, I’m doing it again! And this time it’s long term, at least twelve months. I don’t want to worry about this. Not now or ever. God is reminding me of Matthew 6:25–34. Anxiety, worry betrays a mindset of fear rather than love and trust. Worry is a way of saying I am not in control and I want to be in absolute control, which is just a form of pride, which is rebellion against God’s sovereignty by thinking that I have a better plan for myself.

That’s why Jesus ends this passage by saying. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (v.33). This is all about priorities.

There are many ways you will be able to support me, if you feel lead to. I’ll have a letter all about that soon enough. For now, I would appreciate prayer about staffing, and if God speaks to you already, than fantastic.

• • •

This is all I’ve got right now. Hope it wasn’t too much. More stories coming soon.

Many thanks to all my friends, to those of you who have told me you’re glad to hear my voice, who have asked to here stories and see pictures. You help keep me going. Philippians 1:3–11 is about you. Pretend I wrote it to you. Paul says everything I want to say there.

Love you all, because God loves me,

C.R.R. Wolf

Last Week in Cape Town

Update 30 August 2009

My team is getting ready for the last week of ministry we have in Cape Town before heading to Worcester (the South Africans pronounce it as “Wooster,” so that's how we're saying it too... their English is all sorts of messed up). Friday is the last day of ministry / a fun group outing, and I will be home two weeks from Friday 4th. I'm excited for Worcester, because the South Africa team will be reunited with the teams that went to Panama, and we'll have a solid, fun two weeks together.

But I'm just beginning to feel like Cape Town, specifically the Muizenberg area, is my home after being here for a month. During middle school and high school, I moved from city to city enough times that I got used to it, but I always had at least a year. I need a year in Cape Town as well. God willing, I'll come back for a year, or maybe three years, to do ministry and work with YWAM. I have no idea when that would even be possible, but YWAM seems to make the world a lot smaller and make many more connections. I'll be praying about coming back someday, so please feel free to join me praying into coming back to South Africa.

•

I watched my first rugby match ever. (Kettie, I hope you're proud of me. =P) South Africa vs. Australia. South Africa demolished Australia in the first half. The second half the Ausies came back a bit, but not nearly enough. It was sweet to see the team representing the nation I've been in for so long play well in one of the best loved sports, and against a rival like Australia. The only thing that could have been better is watching the Springboks destroy the All Blacks. But all in due time, hey?

That said, while rugby was entertaining to watch, I still much prefer soccer, or better still, Ultimate Frisbee.

•

I now have plans for next year I did not expect when I started DTS. I've told a few people about my plans for next year, I'm I'm anxious to tell everyone, but I want to tell you all in person, and I really want to talk and pray about this with my pastor and some folks from my home church.

Sorry for the teaser. Feel free to ask me. My plans are not definite yet, but I believe God will sort of the details and take care of any aspect I cannot to see this work out. Please continue to pray for me about working out my twenty-third year of this business that I usually refer to as life.

•

I don't have a lot to report now. I'm doing very well, the team is doing well, and we are all looking forward to getting back together with the Panama folks, and (those of us returning home) are looking forward to having internet we can use to upload and share photos.

I'll be home the 18th or 19th of September, and while I will be resting and sleeping and busy taking care of a few things, if you are around CO and want to get together for coffee or lunch or anything, let me know. I would love to meet up and chat about SA and catch up with you.

Yours by and in God's grace,

Chris

Of the Illicit Trade of Narcotics, Arms, and Human Beings

25 August 2009

Abstract:
My ministry group (John, Ashley, Hannah and myself) has been focusing on doing work related to human trafficking, i.e. modern day slavery, the dehumanization of children and young women for financial or social gain. We have been focusing on raising awareness in the areas of Cape Town we are closest to; in Muizenberg, Kalk Bay, Fish Hoek, Capricorn, and Masipumalele. We are working with established organizations that are combating trafficking, blessing them by doing things they need done. I plan to have a presentation on human trafficking, in South Africa specifically, and a something on the work my group has done.

Micah 6:8 – “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love [mercy], and to walk humbly with your God?”

•

Trafficking is much older than the 2000 United Nations Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, especially Women and Children, that addressed this emerging injustice known as “trafficking.” Now, there are a lot of documents about trafficking, from intergovernmental organizations like IOM (the International Organization for Migration), from non-governmental organizations like the Cape Town based Justice ACTs or Molo Sangoglolo. Plenty of literature, information, booklets have been produced to inform people who are at risk of being trafficked and many more people who are not really at risk.

Because the thing about trafficking is it nearly always involves deception on the part of the trafficker and willful agreement on the part of the person being trafficked.

•

Saartjie Baartman is probably the most famous victim of human trafficking in history. (If you are like me, you had never heard the name before; I was too young in 1994 to know anything that was happening in the news, so maybe some of you remember this....) Dr. William Dunlop, a surgeon from England visiting Cape Town on business or holiday, approached Saartjie Baartman with promises of fame and riches away from her home and job in Cape Town, I think most people would accept an offer like this if we were employed as servants on a farm, or whatever the modern equivalent would be.

When Saartjie Baartman got to London, William Dunlop made a show exhibiting Saartjie nude, for the admission price of one shilling. She died six years after leaving Cape Town, discarded by her trafficker, alone in France. This happened in 1810 (Trafficking Report 3rd Ed., IOM, 2003).

Trafficking is not a new problem – although as it gains exposure in media it may be the new fad issue that is cool to be angry and upset about. In some way it is easy to say what trafficking is: human trafficking is slavery, with a slight twist. It is as simple as that. People who have been trafficked were promised a fame, money, a great job, or even just a better job in a romanticized city. What they get from their traffickers is an addiction to heavy drugs, a demand to work as a prostitute or a domestic servant in horrific working circumstances, or hawking candy in the city. The traffickers do not pay their victims, but withhold money by saying the victim owes thousands of dollars, and the work they are forced to do is to pay that debt back. The traffickers, especially in regards to sex work, threaten the victims by saying their families will be hurt. The girls, women and little boys trafficked for sex work are raped and beat and threatened and demeaned until their spirits are broken and they stop fighting. Then any client can use them without resistance.

Where trafficking gets not-so-simple is the fact that slavery is illegal, and traffickers know what they are doing is promoting slavery. The whole trade has to go underground, and that makes it hard to get a lot of solid evidence or statistics. And that makes human trafficking difficult to talk about.

•

Estimates on human trafficking numbers worldwide are all over the place. The International Labour Organization says 1,800,000 children are exploited through prostitution and pornography. Every year (Bill H2737, Child Protection Compact Act of 2009, p.3). I have heard numbers ranging from around one million children and young women in forced sex work and pornography to as many as hundreds of millions. But no traffickers are going to give quarterly and yearly reports about their sales and figures and dealings. So the best the government and trafficking assistance IGOs and NGOs have to work from are well educated guesses based on cases they know that have been dealt with. One word sums this all up: Hectic.

•

IOM is an intergovernmental organization with especially strong presence in Southern Africa. The IOM has trafficking helplines set up that victims or people who suspect a case of trafficking can call for free in a number of African nations, including South Africa, Angola, Democratic Republic of Congo, Mozambique, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. The IOM made posters to raise awareness about trafficking and spread the helpline number. The posters are eye catching, very well designed, high quality. I have seen them around the country. The first thing I noticed at the customs check in at Cape Town airport was these IOM posters. I am sure these posters have helped spread the helpline number.

And then my team met with an IOM staff person, a women who works in the Cape Town office. She told us the helpline gets only 2000 calls a year, and of those 40 are trafficking related. 40 calls about trafficking out of a country of almost 48 million, with thousands of trafficking victims in South Africa alone, and only 40 calls trafficking related per year. Unbelievable. The helpline number has to be known by more than 2000 people, and surely by more than 40 people who have some knowledge of trafficking. But it's not being used that much.

And again, we come to the aspect of trafficking that could be hard to discern. Justice ACTs talks about four sort of phases of trafficking: tricked, transported, trapped, and used. Tricked and transported are two phases that might not be clear, and tricked is where traffickers get their sources of livelihood. By and large trafficking victims are not kidnapped or forced to go anywhere against their will. They are only held against their will once they are far from home. They trick victims by offering good jobs, travel, something good far from home. The majority of the people in Southern Africa dream of the propositions children and young women are getting from traffickers. Few would think to check deep into who the traffickers say they are or try to notice anything fishy about the situation. There are so many components working in favor of traffickers and against prime victims.

•

So that is just part of what I have learned and unpacked about human trafficking. The more I think about it, the more I realize this is so huge and beyond me and I ask “What can I really do?” As much as organizations like IOM and IJM and Justice ACTs have done to raise awareness in South Africa, trafficking is still not really known about or understood. My team will continue working to raise awareness locally. And not only awareness, but some way to respond, to act, to see this specific injustice stopped. We want to see the church engaged and mobilized, living out Micah 6:8 and all of Isaiah 58. And I think one piece of that will be in ministry focused toward human trafficking.

•

So my prayer points for this week are human trafficking related:

Pray against trafficking as this is clearly a scheme of the enemy. In the Bible God talks extensively about orphans, about the fatherless, about people who cannot defend themselves or cry for help. The Devil would like nothing more than to keep young people away from any place they can be discipled and follow God.

Pray for traffickers to come to repentance and turn around from destroying young innocent lives for their personal profit. Pray for ex-traffickers who will be instrumental in bringing trafficking to an end worldwide.

Pray for women and children who are trapped to be freed, to find in Christ both healing for themselves and forgiveness for their traffickers. Pray that trafficking victims will not stay silent but will become a voice for the voiceless...

Lastly, there is a bill going through the House of Representatives right now, the Child Protection Compact Act of 2009, H.R. 2737. I have read through the act, and it could definitely help a country like South Africa that is busy putting forward legislation that specifically and thoroughly addresses the legal precedings regarding trafficking of persons. Congress is making a good effort, and this would be something good to read through and weigh and pray into. If you feel an importance weighed on you, right to your representative. I have already done so.

That is that for now. Hope to fill you in on more soon. Thank you,

Grace and peace in Christ Jesus,

Christopher

P.S. I love you all. = )

I Am Alive and in Africa

Comprehensive Update

Abstract: I'm doing very well, still dealing with the differences between South Africa and most of America, and working almost everyday. I appreciate all your prayers! Please keep my team in your prayers, especially for team unity, for the Holy Spirit to release spiritual gifts in us as we minister, and that we would harvest a field white and ready for harvest here in Cape Town.

– – –

I have been in Cape Town now for almost four weeks.

We started our time back debriefing, remembering and talking about our time in the Eastern Cape in smaller cities and a rural communities, doing a variety of ministries. We took some much needed down time before starting ministry again in Cape Town.

Since we've been in Cape Town, we have seen a few of the townships, or “informal settlements” that are scattered throughout Cape Town and cities throughout South Africa. Townships are communities with houses built from sheets of metal and scraps of wood, and maybe windows placed into the metal sheets. A “shantytown” would be the right idea. Townships can have populations from a number of thousands to over two million. Few of the people residing in South African townships are squatters. These are actually legal residences.

The official unemployment rate in South Africa as a nation is about 25 percent, but the actual rate is almost definitely higher. The unemployment rate is townships is easily between 60-70 percent. Only a number of people in these communities have steady jobs, and the salaries most of these people make are minimal. Many people will be hired for a day, or a few days a week for a month, but nothing permanent or reliable. Any costs of living in overcrowded townships and building their own shelters are far easier to pay out of the modest wages most earn. Adding to this cycle of inadequate housing is a propensity to spend what little money people make on clothes, on TVs (yes, they do have TVs and many unexpected things in these shacks), even on expensive cars; basically many will spend money on anything material that will make them look wealthier outside (or inside) the community.

This is not to say the situation in townships is any way simple or straightforward. Life in township communities is a complicated, multifaceted thing. Even with any opportunity to leave the township for a home in a nice neighborhood, many might never consider such an option because it would mean leaving their friends, a place they feel they belong and have purpose. Most people living in townships in Cape Town are from villages in rural South Africa, or from other African nations. Essentially all have come to Cape Town seeking work, although many do not find the opportunities they were seeking or were promised. The same happens in Johannesberg, the biggest city in South Africa and the financial/business hub of Southern Africa; and again, but to a lesser degree, people will seek jobs and find nothing in smaller towns, usually tourist hub towns.

And so you have these townships springing up all over the country, filled with folks from rural villages in South Africa, or migrants from Southern African countries. They've left their families (and the families expect that you will send home money from your well paying job...), and now the closest thing to family they have is the township community. Neighbors in townships look out and care for each other. So few people would want to leave a familial environment a second time by moving out of the township. So the people who could move into a good house may instead buy a nice car, nice shoes, and keep the family they have been adopted into.

Half our team of 13 is working daily in Capricorn Park, the nearest township to Muizenberg. Capricorn has unemployment of at least 80 percent. I have gone in a couple times now, each time doing ministry with teenagers. Working with these kids, who many people might just overlook, has been the most rewarding experience I've had in South Africa. And I've only been in the township three or four times.

I'm doing well, writing as often as possible, and wanting desperately to share what I'm doing with everyone. I'll be updating weekly now. Thank you for everything, prayers, thoughts, talking with people about me, everything.

Grace and Peace!

C.R.R. Wolf

Back in Cape Town

I wish I could give a full report now. It's difficult without my own computer to write reports or share photos (which I have many of). I'll try to figure it out. For now, the 25 day overland trip was very successful, and the whole team had a great time. The last 12 days or so we lived in mud huts with a couple families in the community we were ministering in. I supervised a group building a play group at a preschool in the community, and the projects came together really nicely. I miss the people already, and I hope I can go back for a longer time at some point in the near future. I would love to learn more of the language (Xhosa), and build relationships that have already been started. 

We start ministry in Cape town later this week or early next week. Please continue to pray for unity of the team, as our two staff leaders go back to Hawaii and we gain new staff leaders; for God's Kingdom to be built up in Cape Town; and for relationships with people here to be built and grow strong. 

Hope to share more soon.

Love you! Grace and peace,

Christopher

Address in Cape Town

Hey there. I'm glad you're still reading this. Just some info regarding updates during June, and how you can contact me.

S. Africa Team Blog
The S. Africa team has a blog that hopefully everyone will contribute to while we are traveling overland. There will be general info updates about what the group is up to, posted every week or so. I will try to write something for that every week. Nonetheless, please check the team blog every week to keep up with what we're doing.
http://teamsouthafrica09.blogspot.com/

Address in South Africa
I finally know my address in S. Africa! And a phone number I can be reached at in July when I get back.
YWAM – Chris Wolf
No 19 Alexander Road
Muizenberg, South Africa 7950

Phone
27 (0) 21 788 7322

Photographer

This week, our lecture topic was On Doing Missions, and a photographer who has been in YWAM and doing photography in YWAM for years, led the lectures. Jan (like "yawn") C. Schlegel is a brilliant photographer and a fun person to be around.

I want to talk more about Jan's lectures and what we did this week, but I also wanted to plug something really cool that has come up for him.

Hasselblad has a master photographer competition every year. This is a very, very prestigious competition. To even be selected as one of the top ten photographers in any category is a huge accomplishment. Jan submitted his photos thinking nothing would happen, but he is one of the ten finalists in the portrait category.

This means a lot to Jan, and it means a lot to me now and the whole PhotoGenX class. Jan is completely dedicated to giving his life to end world hunger, and that is what a lot of his work, both photos and otherwise, center around. I can't think of anyone more deserving of a prime platform to reach world renowned photographers to help change the world and fight against hunger and injustice.

So, what I think would be amazing, is if you could spare a couple minutes to vote for him to win this competition. I can't make you, and if you find a photographer you like more, I can't stop you from voting for them. But I don't know any of them like I've come to know Jan a little in the last few days. But I'll let his photos speak for themselves.

http://www.jan-schlegel.com/ (Jan's website with his photos. Amazing work here...)
http://www.hasselblad.com/mastersPublicJury (Hasselblad site where you can vote. From "Select Category" choose portrait. He is the seventh photographer, I think. On the right hand side is a link to vote.)

Thanks for your time, and I hope you enjoy the photos that have started to view me while I view them...

Christopher

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(P.S. I just got a chance to do this myself. It's been hard with no computer... There is a form asking for personal information. I understand if you don't want to fill this in for someone you don't know. I probably wouldn't fill it in. Don't waste your time at the Hasselblad site if you don't want to give personal info, but please do check out Jan's website.)

19 June Update

This is the most difficult update to give so far, for a few reasons. I have a few things to address as I remember them. Hopefully I will remember them all. This is pretty long, so take it when you have a few minutes.

•

Yesterday, Thursday 18 June, marked the T-minus one week point. We are now leaving in less than a week for South Africa (and most of the PhotoGenX team for Panamá). I can scarcely believe the time to leave for outreach is upon me already. I’m ready to go, but I don’t feel prepared yet. There are a few things I would prefer to go with that I don’t have. I have to figure out how to pack, what to buy here in Hawaii verses in Cape Town in a week. And I especially have to consider weight. I want to buy books by previous PhotoGenX groups to send back home, and I have to figure out the cost for mailing the books. I have a number of tasks and I cannot imagine when I will be able to accomplish them all.

So yeah, my time of “suffering for Jesus in Hawaii” will end in under a week. I’m excited to head out.

•

Wednesday

This week we’ve had speakers lecturing on missions as a lifestyle. On Wednesday our speaker, Laura, was talking about being a living sacrifice, about leaving things behind to follow Jesus. The whole morning my laptop computer was on my mind. I felt God beginning to nudge me about giving it away in my willingness and desire to follow him. Then Laura decided we should have time as a class to pray whether God was calling us to leave anything or give anything to others in the group.

Knowing my computer had been on my mind all morning, I prayed about it quickly and asked God to confirm that it was from him. He did. I know I had to give away/leave behind my computer. I didn’t feel him leading me to anyone in particular. So then I heard God challenging me about the external hard drive I just bought. I knew exactly who he wanted me to give it too right away, I tried to think and find some way of keeping either the computer or the hard drive. Not both, God! I need these for my photography, and I’m really in a bad spot if I give away both! I know enough by now that the best choice for myself and anyone else involved is to just be obedient. Which is hard. And I have a better appreciation now for how difficult it can become. But I want to choose In for the est of my life. That means a life of obedience. So I gave away my computer and external hard drive. They are both in very good hands now.

So then in addition to all this, I had $500 come in from a friend I love to death and would die for; I have not adequately expressed that to her. (Stacey, you mean a great deal to you, and we need to talk before I fall off the face of the world.) There were a lot of people who still had a lot of money to finish paying (and there still are a few people with needed money…), and I was praying about whether God wanted me to help anyone financially. I thought right away of my S. Africa team members who still have money to pay. But for some reason God made it clear I wasn’t supposed to give to any of them. I have a lot of friends I wanted to give money to for them to knock out the remainder. All the people I would have chosen on my own God shot down. He directed my attention to someone I wouldn’t have thought of immediately. I had prayed for her a day or two before that she would get all the money she needed, which was nearly $2000. I have made a point of never praying anything if I am not willing to be the answer to my own prayer. So God brought me full circle and said, “Give to Tina.” $500 was about the exact amount she needed. Her balance is at $0 now, and she is going to Panamá.

The people in the South Africa team, whom God said not to give to, they were all provided for when someone in our group heard God asking her to give her savings to pay for the rest of the fees our team owed. And the other couple I wanted to give to, the rest of their fees where covered on Wednesday too. God clearly had his strong and providing hand in our midst on Wednesday, and I was so blessed to hear him and be obedient and give. This was only possible because of the generosity and care and love you all, my Family, have shown me these last three months. Thank you.

So, I left behind my computer and hard drive and $550 at God’s calling, and in his holy, perfect sense of ironic humour, on Wednesday asked two people to give their iPods to me. I don’t have a computer or a way to easily use iPods anymore… so God saw fit to give me two. Hilarious. =] Thank you, Daddy. So I found out that my friend’s iPod broke last week, and promptly gave him one of mine. Thank God I only have one now. I’m just praying for a laptop when I get home.


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South Africa Itinerary

We leave in a little less than a week now, on 25 June. I will fly from Honolulu to Atlanta, and arrive in Atlanta at 5:30am. Our layover is almost 12 hours. That should be fun. Hopefully we’ll have somewhere to crash during that layover. From Atlanta on 26 June I fly to Cape Town, with a stopover in Dakar. We arrive in Cape Town 26 hours after we leave Atlanta, on 27 June. We have four days of rest and orientation after we get to Cape Town. On 2 July we leave for an overland trip, kind of a tour through S. Africa. We’ll be doing all kinds of different ministries and work while we’re traveling. The overland trip will go until 24 July. We will have a group blog that will be updated about once a week during that time, so I will have you all go there to see what we’re doing. I’ll give the URL as soon as I know it. Ask me if you want to know more, and I’ll hopefully have details. I do know we will be listening to many peoples’ stories, and sharing our own stories, and photographing people as we build relationships.

•

I have so many thoughts rolling around in my mind, and I want desperately to get them out, to reflect, to process, and to share. But I’ve already written a lot, and you must be tired from reading it. I will not be able to write and update as often without a personal computer, but I will at least post something before my departure next week.

Indebted to your love, more than I can say,

Grace and peace,

Christopher

Untitled

Swim away through the swamp
to your lover, the crocodile
and I will sing you a dirge.

I made a house in the canopy
when I was younger. You may
sleep on my couch
if you can climb up the bark. Remember
dear, a picture of your lover’s mother
is hanging in the tree house
over the fireplace
from when my father went hunting,
when your lover lost his family.
You can take down the picture,
if you like.

Loving a crocodile is difficult,
like the time we tried to bake underwater,
and wondered what went wrong
and why everything was wet.
You didn’t go underwater again
after we made soggy cookies until
you met him. Now your skin
stays always wrinkled.

Sulfur & Magnetic Resonance Poetry

New poem. I liked the way the words of the title sounded, so I made a poem [series of poems/I'm not sure what this is now]. This all has come out of reflections based on the last couple months in PhotoGenX. I would love critique/constructive criticism.

Sulfur & Magnetic Resonance Poetry

1.
She sat across on a hardback cushionless wicker
chair, wanting just to rest for the night, staring into
a white-light square with wide open nighttime eyes.
The cups standing on the shadowy floor
compete for my attention in magnetic compulsion
to pick them up. So I comply. She doesn’t move
her eyes from the glow; I scoop up one
cup, another cup, and shuffle them to the barren
sink. The dishes will wait for the sun.

2.
You say the words slowly, annunciating each
syllable, waiting for the timing to be right.
The way the S rolls off your tongue reminds me
of other S words, like sexy, or sycamore,
or pseudonym. The sulfur tattoos your tongue and lips
like a tribal design, the meaning unclear to everyone
including the owner. But it looks cool.
I know your meaning when you say sulfur,
that I smell dead, or that I have strength.

3.
Did you ever want to run away to Paris, Lady,
and live homeless under the Eiffel Tower
in the afternoons and live at cafés for lunch
and dinner? We can sleep through breakfast
together. I’ll whisper French words in your ears
while we wait for lunch time, and you won’t know
what I’m saying, and I won’t know my words either.
Poetry without translation is often the easiest to swallow
and believe with open ears.

4.
I write about you often, in my notebook &
in my dreams. I talk about you when I write.
You are not the same, today, and you will be
someone else, tomorrow or next year.
I don’t know who you are, & you are me
sometimes. I love when others write of you,
after I get over my jealousy.

5.
Resonance draws her fingers across the white–
washed walls ringing with the tone to take
my feet as captive dancers, drumming down
my spine, up my brain stem, simply spinning
some beautiful beats. I lose thoughts before
I can convert any music to memory.
Why don’t you play Authority Song
as you tell me everything I’m not scarred of
anymore.

Portraits

I wanted to share a few portraits I've shot so far. Hopefully, more soon...

This is my friend (and staff worker) Layne Greene.



This is my friend Jo Svensen.





Hope you enjoyed! Grace and peace!

Chris

Thoughts

Today I got a message from someone who is an alumnus of my high school. She graduated before I began high school, and I have not met her. She said she’s very excited about what I’m doing in South Africa and wants to help, and offered to do a bake sale to raise funds for me.

How awesome is that? A stranger contacts me to ask if she can raise money to give me toward the work I have been called into. God is good.

Since seeking God’s heart for love and justice and mercy and grace and peace – essentially for the reality of God’s presence to come into lives where He is most needed – blessings seem to have been piling up on me. In my mind, all I have been doing was living out what God speaks in His Word in the specific context He has called me to. It’s obedience. It is doing the right thing at the right time. There is nothing special about me. This could be anyone doing the same things.

And all I can think is, This is grace. It is gift. It is kindness. It is joy. It is a favor done without expectation of return. And I love it.

And it is good. I have people asking to bake for me. And really, it isn’t about me. It is about the thousands and thousands of women living in shame and humiliation and silence because they have AIDS and feel they cannot speak because they do not want they families and friends to cast them out of their community.

Thank you, friend I have not yet met. And friends I have met, feel free to hold a bake sale to give money for a cause that seeks God’s love. Organize a (non)talent show. You all are more creative than I am. So go use your gifts.

•

A friend of mine from Canada has been trying valiantly to raise support to pay for school costs and the price of an around the world plane ticket so he can do the two year PhotoGenX program. Bless his heart. The exchange rate is not in his favor. In the last few days, he has received a couple thousand dollars. God has shown His faithfulness to my friend to provide for his needs, to give him the things he asks for. God has shown His faithfulness to me in the last few days in a huge way. Praise God! And He has shown His faithfulness and providence of many, many students and staff in our group.

But what about the people for whom nothing has happened? For whom there have been no breakthroughs in money they need? Does God care less about them somehow? Have they not done something so God will do something for them? Is grace, this gift, not broad and powerful enough to extend to them?

Of course I do not think they have done something wrong or not done something. But why me? Why have I seen the blessings, the grace I have?

I pray it’s to be a blessing. I don’t know what I can do right now. I need to pray. I always need to pray. Mostly I need to listen more closely than I have been. But I also want to listen. I want to hear God’s word and obey in gratitude and joy…

I hope to have good news to share about my friends soon.

•

Why is it that in the accounts of Jesus’ life He talks so often about things related to money? And Jesus doesn’t say things that make sense to me or most of my friends, at least not with the way we have been taught to understand economics. Jesus talks about not making a fuss over paying taxes to the Empire that was occupying Israel (Matthew 22:17). Or earlier in Matthew, Jesus says not to be anxious about food or clothing because God will provide it (Matthew 6:25). Typically food and clothing have to be bought. And they cost a lot of money as your family grows. The two are connected in a fundamental way. There is freedom and release from anxiety about paying taxes to Rome – and Jesus says it’s Caesar’s money anyway – and freedom in knowing and trusting that God will provide the very basic needs out of His generous loving nature. Which is good since tax collectors working for Rome took much of the money anyone had. Jesus essentially says, “That coin with an inscription of a man? That’s human way of understanding and doing provision. God’s way? Well, God has put his inscription on the flowers.” What can you say in counter response to that?

And then there are stories for illustrating investment in the Kingdom of God. Lessons on giving, and supporting. Stories of financial sacrifice. Which makes me think that the issues I’m dealing with involving money aren’t new… =P

•

I guess my point was sort of that money, as one of the most looming concerns of YWAM students – and I think missionaries more generally – is not limited to myself, and is a hard thing and difficult to understand why it’s different person to person. But I think it’s clear that God cares. I do not even know how He could possibly be indifferent.

After all, God has made wildflowers to look more glorious than even the wisest, possibly wealthiest man ever.

From the grace that has been given to me, in God’s rich love,

Chris

The Battle Is Won…

But the war is still going. The biggest obstacle so far has been my outreach fee, which is finally covered. The total cost of the PhotoGenX DTS was over $10,000, which I saw provided in less than three months. God is good. The biggest battle is won and finished.

Many, many people, many of you, have shown great generosity and encouragement and belief in what I’m doing. You have put up with dozens of my annoying emails asking for financial support. You have not sent me any hate email in response. You have been patient with me. You have read my update blogs, the good ones and the poorly written ones and the rants (which maybe shouldn’t have happened…). You are reading this right now. Thank you.

As much as I have already received, I want to ask boldly for a little more. The money I have received so far has gone completely to my fees for training and outreach in South Africa. I still need to buy supplies for the trip, like a backpack to carry my camera and photography gear, an external hard drive to back up images and important files, gear and basic necessities I will have to buy. I am hoping my costs in total will be around $500 to buy all the gear and things I will need. I am not sure how much the costs will end up being.

So, you know now the expenses for the outreach trip are done. If you would still like to support me financially, the money will go toward the most important and costly gear I need, hopefully a camera bag first, then an external hard drive, and smaller things like travel towels and toothpaste last. Or if you have equipment/gear/supplies I may have use for, email me to see if I could use it and you could ship it.

Snail mail to Hawaii is slow and seems a little unreliable. My mom helps with my finances my depositing checks into my account so I can pay my YWAM bills. Checks made out to me can be sent to her at my home address. Or if you use Paypal, I have a donate link set up on my Blogger update site (you're on it!) that goes to my checking account.

Thank you all for all your prayers, all your support, and all your encouragement. I have my outreach fees paid! This is an investment into what I plan and want to become my lifelong work. I want to use photography for the rest of my life to see and show the world through different eyes, and to validate people who have never been validated. I want to use photography as a tool to pray for the people I meet. For the rest of my life, I want to use photography to inspire others and to be a voice for the voiceless. I am doing that and will continue to do that for many years because of your support and coming alongside me. And this is an investment into lives of beautiful valuable people, whom the world has condemned as ugly and worthless. I will help reverse those lies. Love always wins.

Thank you for your love. You are helping the winning side.

Grace and Peace! With much love,

Christopher Wolf

What Does the LORD Require?

With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?

Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

– Micah 6:6-8

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." – Matthew 9:10-13 (quote from Hosea 6:6)

What if God wasn't about getting people to be afraid of him, but to love him and love people? What if he wanted people to love each other because they are created in his likeness, because they bear the "divine spark" from the creator of the universe? What if God wants mercy and justice and love because he understands that fullness and life only truly come through community and right living with each other, because God is in community from before time?

Does all this make sense? I know I have trouble comprehending the implications of these ideas. I believe God wants us to give/be mercy and grace and peace and love and life to each other. I believe God wants to be loved as the Father he is in creating people in his likeness, whom he calls children. Even assuming these things might be true is a radical step and has serious, world changing implications.

So, how does this apply to PhotoGenX?

What if Christians were to live out the words of Micah and act justly and seek justice in the world? Or what if Christians were to do as Jesus says and practice mercy, not to give people the things they deserve, to forfeit the right to harm or punish when it is within their rights? (And why did Jesus focus on mercy when he quoted this verse?) What if Christians were to walk humbly with God, starting out of acting justly themselves, and forgiving and extending mercy when wronged, knowing they don't know the whole situation like God does?

The first command, act justly, has been most heavy on my heart. I want to see justice come where there is injustice. I want there to be light and hope where there is now darkness and despair. I want to see the oppressed go free.

But there is something important at stake here for the oppressor too, isn't there? The things pimps and crime lords and rapists and people behind genocide and every kind of injustice imaginable have done, I can barely conceive forgiving them, giving mercy. But that is what God wants.

God is interested in freedom for the oppressed and the oppressor.

Because justice can only truly come when the oppressed and set free amends made, and when the oppressor no longer does injustice against anyone. And both parties, on either side of injustice, need to walk humbly with God,

to avoid becoming proud and arrogant,

to keep from condemning themselves for what happened,

to know they are created in the image of the God who created the universe, and he loves them.

That's really what justice, and mercy, and humility are about, right? Knowing the truth of God's love.

χάρις καὶ εἰρήνη,

Χριστοφόρος

Of Praising God & Paypal & Working

First of all, I want to give huge praise to God. I just found out my airfare for outreach has already been paid for! We took an offering a few weeks ago, just our class, to try to pay all the fees for the whole class, and the money to purchase my airfare came from that. This is amazing. I thought I still had to pay for my airfare. Now I have a much more manageable goal to reach. I only need $3000 to have everything paid for. Praise God! But there is still work to be done...

•

So I found out that I could create a Paypal button to place on my blog page. This allows folks to make donations by debit/check card that will go directly to my checking account, and I can then pay with checks or debit card the same day. So the only reason supporting me with a donation through Paypal is that it would get to me much, much faster than a check.

Here's the thing: Payments for my school fees are not tax deductible, so I would not be able to send you a tax deduction receipt. Sending a check to Centennial (or Hope Wesleyan) and asking them to send it to me is tax deductible. Going through my church may still be the best option for a number of people. I'd still love to answer any questions or talk about anything, so call or send me an email (p.s.1senior@gmail.com) if you need my number.

So, the other thing I thought of was doing work when I get back to Colorado and Illinois. If you have any odd jobs, cleaning out a garage, any kind of lawn work, anything at all that I could do around a house or office, and you would be willing to pay me for now, I will be able to do work when I return. I will be in Colorado from September 20 to December 26, and I will be in Illinois January 3 until the end of the school year. Let me know if this interests you.

As I said, I just need $3000 more. Please continue to pray about this, and talk with me.

More about South Africa plans and class this week and last week as soon as I have time. ^_^

Grace and Peace! I love you all,

Chris

Something Like Suffocating

[Edit: Don't get the wrong impression from this. I really am doing great here and I love almost every minute. It's hard, but good, and very much worth everything. I just needed to vent a bit. And I have done a few things on this list already. But thank you all, especially Margaret and Cassie.]

I feel a little bit stressed. I want to create things, to photograph, to write reflections and stories and poetry and songs and exegesis of the Greek word for baptism and how Bible passages look differently with this deeper understanding of the use of the word. I want to write personal emails to each and every one of you (that would be something hundred emails, which is theoretically possible). I want to draw. I want to read, Luke and the Gospels and Leviticus (and write my thoughts on Leviticus) and Sex God and how Jesus can lead a turning that can never be fully oppressed, and is really quite enticing. I want to read the doctoral thesis written by the brother of my friend. I want to talk with my best friend and my roommate and my H2H and my 1on1 and the families that are giving my financial support and my friends who do not think I should go out in the name of Jesus to love people the way I’ve learned Jesus insists to love people. (I especially want to talk to all you friends of mine who don’t see eye to eye with me on the Jesus thing. Y’all keep me grounded in an important way, and it helps breathe life into me.) I want to play the guitar that is lying not ten feet from where I’m sitting typing this, to renew my calluses, to master the three cords I’ve learned and remembered. I want to get out and photograph. To create images with far my craft and excellence than I have so far. I want to be able to have coffee at a café with my friends every day and talk about things that really matter, like if true love means that she lets me pick her nose and she is comfortable picking mine, or the deeper reality symbolized by continuing to sleep with a teddy bear in college years and after, or whether having flight or invisibility is a more preferable superpower. I want to watch Heroes and Bleach and a historical/present day breakdown of why people create(d) the gods they did/do (see “The Gods Aren’t Angry” by Rob Bell). I want to research war and other issues of injustice that are ravaging the world presently, to do something useful and practical and meaningful to help. I want to memorize books of the Bible. I want to nap. A lot. I want to Skype with my family and friends. I want a web cam so I can Skype…

I want to do so many things, but every day during the four to five hours of free time I have in the afternoon and then the few hours I have free in the evening, I usually feel overwhelmed – even suffocated – by the weight of the lecture in class and how I’m responding and growing and changing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and it all affects me physically. It feels as though there is no break, and I suffocate when I want to and try to be productive and creative. So I have given updates with far less frequency than I have intended or wanted to. I have not talked about what I wanted to talk about or what I think you want me to talk about in my updates. I have not called as many people as I want to, or talked to anyone as long as I’ve wanted to. A huge factor playing into this tiredness and choosing not to write or call is due to the time difference. Four to six hours difference makes things tricky, and I think has contributed to draining some life out of me.

This is a big thing weighing on me. I have cut off much personal contact with the people I call “friends”. (Truly, I cannot thank you enough if you still honestly, legitimately consider me a friend after I have shown you so little person contact and care and difference. I love you all so much in my heart and mind, but I have failed to show that love, and love without action is dead and meaningless. I am sorry for not living my love. I don’t know how to reconcile this now, except to begin slowly, one person at a time, and patiently and constantly devote my life to reconnecting with person after person every day.)

•

Busy-ness

I want to do so many good things and I find myself pulled in a thousand directions, accomplishing nothing. Busy-ness is a norm in DTS and confronts me at every turn and corner with fieldtrips, journaling, and research, spending quality time with dozens of people, photographing and editing photos and talking about photos. All of which are honestly, truly good things. But I shut down. I think less when I don’t have to think hard for class. I try to give myself rest that isn’t really rest. I sit around and spend meaningless time on the internet and procrastinate.

Busy-ness can become such a dangerous weapon if doing too many things is allowed to overtake us.

Which is why I covet the day I set aside to stop and rest and do no work. Thank God. (Genesis 2:2-3; Exodus 20:8-11; 31:16; I can go on and on, there are 116 times Sabbath is translated in the ESV. You get the picture.)

•

Pressing On

I still want to create. I especially want to begin serious work writing for the ideas I want to use for books. And I want to make this season of my life one where I memorize scripture in a significant way that god will use for His glory. And I want to build and strengthen and deepen friendships. And of course I want to keep on top of my PGX class stuff.

I’m not sure what to do except learn time management and start to live in a way that I manage my time as best as I can, and to keep writing and reading and memorizing and building, especially when I don’t feel like it or want to. The opposite spirit of apathy or laziness is interest and careful focused work.

Grace and Peace,

Christopher

[irresistible + revolution]

I've been reading Irresistible Revolution, by Shane Claiborne. It's very good, and I think you should read it. But seriously, call me or text or email or whatever, I would LUV to discuss what I like and really don't like about this book. Grace and peace,

•

[ 0.
I’ll step off
the edge of a precipice
into the unknown downward
spiral fall –
or into your arms,
because you can
walk on air too if you can
walk on water, right?
Both are expressions
of oxygen, or maybe
air and water both simply come
from your Breath.]

1.
Earth continues racing through
vacuum, daily revolutions
irresistible, revolutions annually
irresistible, turning,
turning.
Because revolutions always involve
turning, you taught me,
always begin with turning.
The first revolution I conspired in
was with my bicycle,
and the revolution got me a
blood painted aching forehead.
Revolutions always go this
way. But the bike revolution
was irresistible, and now I put
mountains under my rubber.

2.
You came and said “Metanoeite,”
“Repent,” or more simply “Turn
around.” Maybe in your biography
it should be translated, “Revolution.”

3.
The blind and the crippled and the
deaf and the mute could not resist
you because they could not see your
body or stand to stop you or hear
you preaching or say you should
stop preaching. The prostitutes
and the tax collectors and the
Gentiles and the Samaritans and
poor and the widows could not
resist you because they finally
had someone on their side. The
Pharisees and the Sadducees
and the Governor and the Empire
and the crowd at Passover
could not resist you because
God is not God of the dead
but of the living, and you could
not stay dead. They could not
oppose you, and you became too
desirable to be resisted anyway.

4.
I am an ordinary radish, a root,
radix, radical. The root sucks
in water and life and nutrients
and keeps the whole plant
upright, alive. I am radical and
run back to the beginning
of the turning. I look like
my brothers and sisters, I am
not remarkable, I return to the
radix. Looking plain and
desiring to turn back to the root
and living
the simplicity of the Way…
can this be stopped? Can this be
preferred?

[5.
I’ll step off the edge
of a precipice into the unknown
downward spin, until I reach
a place I can turn the world
right side up.]

On Fathers and Skype and Lost Bags, &c.

I want to address a number of things briefly in this update. I like writing in depth, but there's a lot on my mind that needs to get out. I pray I'll make time to write much more soon. Now, on to business.

•

A few weeks ago, the topic of the week was on the Father Heart of God, and Peni Patu was the speaker and showed us God's heart for us through his life and not only his words. I didn't think about my literal father at all that week. I focused all my attention on God, revealed as a Father.

I prefer to think (pretend, really) that my relationship was my dad is good. In actuality, I don't think about my relationship with my dad... ever, really. He's not a bad father by any means. He never hurt me or my sister or my mum the way many fathers/husbands hurt their family. He has never been abusive or shown any sign of that sort of behavior. When he spanked me as a child, I know know it was harder for him than for me. I think he was barely able to bring himself to spank me or my sister. In fact, I think my mom did more than my dad...

Instead of any sort of abuse, I felt distance from him. We've never been emotionally close at all. Typical guy stuff. As I've grown up, emotional and intellectual connection has become a very important factor for me in relationships. I've lived with my dad my whole life until college, and since those connections were not made and strengthened, I didn't make any effort to start with my dad. And the sad thing is I blamed him and never took any responsibility for developing meaningful relationship with my dad.

I never told him. I never said anything about how I felt, except often insulting and putting him down behind his back at home. I harbored resentment for years and never dealt with it and didn't think much of it over time.

Since I've been in Kona, I've felt a block to God. (I'm sorry, this is really hard to explain with words, and I don't think I will be able to. Bear with me. ^_^) I sensed that something was holding me back. It was almost an intangible weight. I felt heavy inside. That's the best I have right now, so I hope you understand.

I felt a strong conviction and desire this week to call my dad and confess my feelings of anger and frustration and resentment toward him, and ask for forgiveness, and tell him & remind myself that I love him a lot. When I called and confessed and talked with him for a bit, everything came together. The worry and impatience over money faded (more on this below...), I felt that block/weight come free. I hadn't realized had much poison was in my system slowly killing me because I wouldn't address or think about my relationship with my father.

God has been showing me He is not like my dad, or any person I've known. He is faithful and keeps all His promises when I trust Him and step out in faith; He's even faithful and gracious when I am faithless and don't care about getting any gifts.

Just some thoughts I wanted to share.

•

Dear Margaret, Erin, Alex, Kathy, Christina, Kärin, Brittnee, Katherine, plus Liz and Melinda, and any other Knox folk I've been meaning to Video Skype:

Sorry I have failed at calling for three (?) weeks straight. I will be gone all weekend so the soonest would be next week. I don't know what your schedule is like presently. It must be close to finals, yeah? Please please please let me know if there is time and the earliest day and time this week that would work for a bunch of you. I really want to talk and see you all. If you are able to set a [mostly] definite time, I will honor that and make it priority number 2 (after the obvious...). Let me know.

[P.S. Janet, this goes for you too. Tell me when and I'll borrow a computer with a video camera.]

Thank you.

•

Prayer List!

A woman in PhotoGenX lost an important piece of luggage coming to Hawai'i, and the airline still hasn't found it. Prayer that someone would simply see the bag and open it and see her name and number, and for this to happen soon.

It's always warm/borderline hot in Hawai'i, we've been hanging around the same 50 people for six weeks, we're tired and God is moving us to deal with junk in our lives, and patience with friends in growing thinner. Prayer for grace to be given to each of us from the Spirit, and to give this grace to each other, and loving each other by serving everyone as a slave, prayer for all this is always appreciated and much needed. I think we can and will come to a point where we all truly are family and will love and serve and die for each other, but there's a long way to go.

The iteneraries and plans for service in Panamá & Cental/South America, and S. Africa, and coming together. Please pray that God would be preparing the people we will meet in these countries for whatever God is planning to do, for hearts that would be open and want to receive Him, for unexplanible expectancy for July - September to come; and for our team, that God would teach us specific things we will need for outreach, for prophecies of what He will do with us, and for faith and expectancy to carry out these prophecies. Pray that He would stir something in wahc person before we go that will only be understood when we meet someone in the countries we go to.

In addition, please email me anything I can pray for. This isn't a one way street. If it becomes one way, only with prayer for me and PGX, there is a huge problem that we need to talk about. And let me know if I can share what you want prayer for. Thanks!

•

Related to above, regarding specific needs I have,

I still need five to six thousand dollars for outreach to S. Africa, for the airfare and fees. God has made it perfectly clear that He is going to provide all this money. I don't know when, I don't know how, and I don't know why I haven't seen it yet. God has been very clear that I am supposed to step out toward Him in faith and trust & believe He is taking care of the money. I can only do the next little step He asks me everyday and wait expectantly that He will come through in an unexpected way. And this is about His timing being perfect for my needs.

I'm a little anxious and worried still about money, but not very much. I'm waiting and praying for Him to show up and provide a way to pay my fees. The surprising thing is I have a deep peace about not having money yet. He promised to provide and make it possible for me to do PhotoGenX this year; He keeps His promises; and He loves to provide and give good things when His chidren ask. I can't explain this peace, except it's like a breath or presence (spirit, sort of) over and inside me. I'm much more focused and each day and living and talking with my Daddy, and I think that's from this spirit-peace.

I would still love prayer in this area.

Somewhat related, my computer is almost 5 years old, and is biting the dust more and more as the weeks go by. There were a number of minor things that broke a while ago. Today I discovered my CD/DVD drive is broken, and 1) it can't really just be replaced, and 2) I don't have money anyway. ^_^ I told my roommates this in complete seriousness, and I'm asking you too, please pray that somehow God would provide a laptop (new or used, prayerfully that it has what I'll need for the next few years doing photography, and hopefully be a Mac) in addition to the money I need for outreach. I believe and know God can provide both, and I'm praying He would provide the laptop before I leave. So if you could pray into this too...

That's all I have time for now, but more late Sunday, I hope.

Grace and peace!

Christopher

Cliff Jumping!

At last, for your viewing pleasure, the fabled, much anticipated photographs of the South Point cliff jumping epic adventure extraordinaire! (Did I over hype myself?) All credit goes to God and to Steve Schallert who shot some sweet pics. Enjoy.

The cliffs we jumped from where somewhere around 45-50 feet above the ocean. Not a bad jump and rush. South Point is the southern most point of the US. Kind of cool, yeah?

Sorry there are so many photos, but when you jump 50 feet off a cliff...

The first series is the second jump I did, but is slightly less epic, unless you are at South Point to witness said jump, in which case this way is far more epic. Almost Homerically so, even. (And just to put this out there, Poseidon is a pansy and a jerk and can't take a joke. Athena is by far the best Olympian. Just saying.)










Now for the more epic photo series. Steve did a great job shooting these. Thanks Steve. I'll get you a coffee or something. Let me know.

Sunday, 10 May 2009

Last week was busy, but again good. We were talking about the Bible. As can be expected, we didn't get terribly in depth in only a week. It wasn't so much about the topic last week as it was the speaker/teacher, Andrew Kooman.

Andrew was great to have leading class sessions, to eat with and hang around. He's one of those, really-smart-but-in-a-down-to-earth-sort-of-way, guys. I think most people have someone like this; if you do not, go get one to hang around. I'll wait until you get back.

....

Got one? Good. So far all our speakers have used most of their time with us in classes to lecture or teach. Peni had everyone come to the front of the room to read and he prayed for each person in class, but it was still a time of speaking that everyone was listening to, so I'm categorizing that with lectures. Andrew did brief writing workshops with the class, which meant time in class where we weren't listening to lecture, but writing creatively what we each wanted to write.

Reflecting on the writing workshop portion now, I guess we didn't devote a vast amount of time to the writing, but it felt like a lot of time, and I loved it. I loved the break from monotony of listening to lecture. I loved taking a verse from Genesis and elaborating on it to make a piece of creative [non]fiction. I loved that Andrew told us we could use talents like creative writing for the kingdom of God. I loved that I wrote something I actually like. (I will post it as soon as I elaborate and write some more of the story.)

Yesterday I went on a hike to one of the most beautiful waterfalls I've ever seen. We went to Waipi'o Valley and hiked to Hi'ilawe Falls. This is one of the best hikes I've ever done. I don't say this lightly, because I love Colorado and the Rocky Mountains. A lot. But Waipi'o Valley and Hi'ilawe Falls definitely compete with the best CO has to offer. The photos I took haven't been offloaded from my camera yet, but those will be posted soon.

I have a lot of (mostly) unrelated thoughts running through my mind; I'll write about those later.

But lastly, I'm doing research on statistics of war in Central and South America, and the Caribbean. I am looking especially for data on how wars have affected women and children in Latin America and the Caribbean. If you know any credible sources with statistics on war and women and children in Latin America, please let me know. I haven't found much yet.

More soon,

Christophley Wolfgang von Lügenstein IV [ =P ]

listen.trust.wait.patience

New, sort of experimental poem. Dealing with things I'm learning and trying to figure out. Feedback is very, very welcome.

7 May 2009

listen.trust.wait.patience

You told me first to listen. Funny how
I heard that. I thought I heard you,
so aren’t I listening? You said,
Listen. Listen.
“Speak, LORD. Your servant is
listening.”
Trust.
That’s all you said
and then I was stuck with
listen and trust. I heard
nothing else to trust you about.
Maybe you meant trust
in the general, vague, not-actually-helpful
sort of way. Why & what am I trusting
you for?...
Wait…
Wait…
Wait…
While I don’t want to
Wait…
and don’t know what to
trust
and I’m not sure I’m even hearing you when I
listen.
What am I doing? What are you doing?

Patience.

And that clears everything up. Yup.
So you want me to listen and
trust and
wait and
it all has to do with patience

while you’re not doing anything
I can see to help me? Unless
listen trust wait patience
are your help for me
and not money or people or comfort I want?

A Hodgepodge Jumble which is my Mind Thoughts

What if a revolution was started that was not about power, not about taking power from a person or group that has power so another group can have it instead, but a revolution that is about weakness and humility and service? What about a revolution that goes in the opposite spirit of how revolutions typically go? A revolution that finds good in being the last and the least of these? Would such a revolution be stamped out in a few minutes and forgotten? Or would such a revolution be irresistible?

•

I’m presently reading through the Gospel of Mark, one of the four accounts of the life of Jesus in the Bible. The author of Mark – whether is was or was not Mark – really liked to use the word εὐθύς, an adverb in Greek meaning either immediately or then. The English Standard Version of the Bible translates this word as immediately in every occurrence in Mark. This makes for very interesting (and repetitive) reading of what Jesus is up to according to Mark (or whoever). Jesus calls people and they come immediately. He immediately enters synagogues on the Sabbath and teaches. He touches sick people and they are immediately made well. The pace in Mark is not slow. And the word immediate is pregnant with meaning of action and not passiveness. Jesus is a man of quick action. In a very true aspect Mark was using a word to create flow in the narrative and to show the reader where a new sentence was starting (there were no handy things like spaces or punctuation for them…), but he does so with an adverb that expresses Jesus is acting in the world with directness.

So if this Jesus is risen and alive like I believe he is, and he is still the same, in what ways is he acting in my life with immediacy? What is he wanting to do immediately in your life?

•

War Dance

Wooden xylophone ringing with
organic timbre, singing at the hand
of a lost African boy longing
for his innocence back.


chop chop hack
of machetes swinging, arching, biting, hacking
rattatat bang rattat tat
of guns machining for fake power
haha ha he hahahe
of children losing childhood to

stolen heads of once father, mother,
person, whole person. Heads in pots
rather than in clouds
imagining solutions to poverty or
string theory.


There is dancing in spite of war and death
and suffering and displacement
and those who listen can
see that perhaps what the Rebels
fight for, that war is a dance
and destruction
chop chop rattat haha chop
but instead the dance of war
is singing and beating drums and
wooden xylophones
and believing the spirit cannot be killed.

•

The beginning of Genesis is a poem about the creation of heaven and earth and everything by the God of the Hebrews. In the poem the creation is broken up into six different “days.”

The first day light is made,
and God separates light from darkness
and names light day and dark night.
The second day an expanse between
waters – um, yeah – is made
resulting in ocean and clouds and
sky.
Day three brings land
to hang out in the seas
and the land gets houseplants
as a house warming gift.
The next day God made
the sun and stars and –

wait, a “day” is measured
respective to the sun.
How was there a “day”
on the first day?
Ummmmm….

Is there something more going down in the beginning Genesis poem?

•

Disclaimer: I am not writing this for pity or any selfish reason. (God, please let that be true!) I am writing this as witness to the truth that God is doing something big… and somehow I get to be part of it.

I met a man last week who knew I often feel lonely, and how I believe no one cares about me and I am alone. His name is Peni Patu. I have never met this man in my life. The PhotoGenX staff gave him a list of the names of the people in our DTS, but nothing else. No information about us. Nothing. I haven’t told anyone here about those feelings anyway, so no one could have snitched. Peni spent hours and hours praying for us and preparing for his week of teaching, and part of the time he spent was asking God to give him a personal word to give to each student in PhotoGenX. Some very personal, very unknown things were in each letter.

I have prayed and asked God to give me a word of encouragement to give to specific people, and He has spoken to me. Nothing as clear as these letters Peni wrote for everyone, but I’ve experienced this myself.

My point is God, my Father, shared my biggest, deepest, longest running insecurity with this stranger, and then I had to read that letter out loud to everyone in the group and reveal my biggest fear to the people I’m spending the next five months with. God must have a sick sense of humor. (I’m just kidding. I love His sense of humor.)

But seriously, why loneliness and other people caring about me? And why now? I’m thinking and worrying about more specific, more pressing matters. And why did He have to speak this to someone I don’t know and who doesn’t know me and make me tell everyone what I feel in the darkest recesses of my heart?

I thought those other, more pressing things were something new, and I have been slowly realizing God simply got right to the main problem. If Mark were writing about Jesus and me, it would read something like, “And immediately Jesus cut to the chase of what is holding Christopher back.” But loneliness is completely the root of so much crap in my life. You know what my Daddy got to say to me, because someone asked what God thought of me and listened?

“I am here for you, my son. I want you to come and fellowship with me whenever you need. I long for your full attention, my son, not just part of it.”

God wants to fellowship with me as His son! How cool is that?

But what if it’s not just me God wants, but everyone? And what if God is wanting and trying to speak these life giving words to us or anyone who will listen, but we are unwilling to hear the truth about ourselves, and we don’t ask to be God’s voice to our friends (or even to strangers).

What if this started changing, with more and more people choosing to listen and speak?

•

Until then, grace and peace,

Chris